Deepshikha Katuri

TW: Mention of death

I’ve been home for almost 8 months now and the covid has been pretty tough to everyone and it’s the same for me too. Being under lockdown and the officials containing the colony or apartments constantly and not letting us go out for the sake of our safety has been difficult to deal with but ever since the unlock has started some people took the virus for granted and have acted like it’s a government farce and it doesn’t exist.
Now here’s a story that happened in my colony today, this man who I used to hear about from my friends was tested positive and was taken to the hospital later. He was doing just fine until one day we got to know that both his lungs failed and was battling for life for more than a week and he passed away today. This news was shocking, I was expecting he’d find a donor but things didn’t go in his way. Now here, he was one of the rudest men around and would always yell at the kids who would play in the court for making noise and he’d beat his wife all the time and would pick unnecessary fights with people around. He has a three year old child and I’m pretty sure this is gonna be hard on the kid. Some of them talk about it like he deserved it for being the rudest man but some people say that he didn’t deserve this. I don’t really know how I feel about anyone’s death, I’m not very good at handling death in general, it’s one of the toughest things. Three days back I received a text from my friend telling that her grandfather passed away. It was after Diwali, just after I kind of had a good day. We knew this was gonna happen since he’s been sick for a long time now but it was still kind of hard to take in and I still can’t believe it. More than 20 people have passed away in my area due to covid and everyday it’s only been getting worse. It’s traumatizing to see people just pass away like that. One day I see them walking around with me and the next day they’re gone. It makes me rethink my life. The virus hasn’t gone anywhere. I hope people realise this and act and take precautions accordingly.

Even though I have felt unloved for quite a long time I keep finding myself, being in love with the nature and how it speaks to me. In words we never said, and in emotions we never expressed. 

I’ve always been a sports fan ever since I was a kid. Watched multiple matches at the stadium. I never missed a single badminton match until a point. Stayed up late for football matches with my cousins and friends. Woke up early to watch the NBA matches. Made sure I was free the day there’s a Tennis match. But, watching IPL gives some me kind of happiness and excitement, it’s a delight every summer. The betting, the happy hours at the bars, match screenings at the drive-ins, my friends crying over how much money they’ve lost over a simple argument on which team is gonna win is all a part of my summers. Obviously, I don’t see this happening with the same level of excitement like it normally would. There was no IPL opening ceremony, there are no live cheer leaders, no live audience. It all feels weird to me and I kind of hate it. But, I hope this won’t happen in the next season. I know, I’m gonna miss going out for a match night, the clubs won’t feel the same without the people screaming and shouting over a wicket or a six. I’ll miss waiting for the tickets to go on sale so that I can see if I could get one. I’ve watched a live match almost every season, I’m gonna miss the stadium environment. If my favourite team wins I for sure will go on the roads and scream my heart out cause I cannot keep calm for sure.


Also, Dhoni’s new beard look is so gorgeous and Sam Curran is a cutie. I think I’m gonna obsess and crush over him this season. 🤭

Somebody asked me “when did you first fall in love?”
I think, I first fell in love in 11th grade under the pink skies. Pink was the colour of his heart. The shade of my cheeks. The colour of the dress I was wearing. Pink was the shade of his Jersey. Don’t we agree that pink is the colour of first love?

Everything that has happened in this year 2020 has been a freak incident. This is the result of pure human negligence. This is the result of consciesly and carefully executed policy decisions. This is the result of the intentional and endless pursuit for profit. This is the end result of our misplaced priorities.

The rich can buy their way out of this crisis to preserve their houses and wealth. Thousands are being evacuated and most of them will lose everything they have. Climate change will ravage economically disadvantaged communities and communities of colour first and foremost. Possibly, that explains the painful silence and denial of climate change.

It was a gloomy sunday, I woke up to the sound of rain and some 80’s pop songs playing somewhere far, thought to myself it might br my dad who was playing the songs. I got out of my bed and went into the hall but there was no one and the TV was on but I couldn’t find anyone around. I went to the washroom and when I got out of the washroom, I wasn’t in my house. It was a different place, I panicked and started screaming “RED GOLD AND GREEN” I don’t know why. The place looked like I was at a café in some different city. I went out and I could see flying cars and suddenly, my current favourite car came and dropped itself Infront of me. I was shook, I wanted to drive it. I opened the car door to sit inside and put my seatbelt. The car had options of flying or drive. I chose flying, it started and I was super excited and surprised to be sitting in a flying car. But it was a trap someone kidnapped me and took me to Maldives. I woke up after that and my dad was actually playing the music same music that I heard in my dream and it was a sunday and I hoping that I’d see a flying car that day. I was somewhere stupidly hoping for it.

I’ve been having weird dreams for quite a long time now that I’m used to having these even more wired dreams that ruin my mood for the whole day and the weird thing is that these dreams somehow connect to my reality sometimes and sometimes even other dreams that I’ve had a couple of years back. I’m gonna try to remember all my dreams and make a fictional story out of it one day.

C U soon, a Malayalam film directed by Mahesh Narayanan and stared by Fahadh faasil, Roshan Mathew, Dharshana Rajendran and sujju kurup relased on prime in the begining of this month.

The whole film was shot during the lock down in the Pandemic. It was shot entirely on an iPhone. It helped provide wages to the workers whose only income source was through cinema. This film made me stick to my bed until I finished watching it. It’s only a one and a half hour film. The whole story is narrated through video calls, chats, emails, Facebook messages and WhatsApp voice notes. The whole story revolves around Anu Sebastian who meets Jimmy through Tinder and eventually both fall in love. She reaveals that she doesn’t have a number. Jimmy takes help of his cousin, kevin who’s into tech stuff and later finds out about Anu and her dark secrets.

I could talk more about the story but it won’t do the justice to your experience. The film is impressive. It’s very well written and has been put together quite amazingly. The emotions are shown in a very impressive way. This is a must watch film. More people should watch it and talk more about such impressive stories.

I’d rate this film 4.5/5 🌟

What is self care? How should we do it right? Do we have to drown ourselves in *all those fancy oil names that I can’t remember the spellings of* and light an agarbatti stick? (Lets call it an incense stick to sound fancy) or should we sit at an expensive cafe and read a book alone in the name of self love? Or, visit all those expensive restaurants with mediocre food and pretentious lightings? Nothing wrong with that though.

But for now, let’s all just take a moment and put a face mask on (multani mitti also works wonders, we don’t need those stupid chemical filled face packs) and just make yourself a cup of hot chocolate or chai and a bowl of pasta or even maggie, sit on the terrace/balcony and just enjoy your food and hot chocolate. Call your friends and annoy the hell out of them until they decide to not be friends with you anymore, laugh until you’re out of breath. But for now, I’m just gonna make myself a hot cup of chai and have it along with my Osmania biscuits and gossip about a wedding that’s gonna happen in my opposite apartment. Just to be safe you know. 😛

I watched a Telugu film called “V” today and I absolutely loved the film. It’s a dramatic triller film. It released on Prime yesterday midnight and I was flooded with messages, reviews and memes of the film on my timeline everywhere and I got the time to watch it today. My brother started watching the film without me and and I had to beg him 200 times to begin it again. We somehow managed to start it and I got really into the film and wanted to watch it completely. 30 mins before the movie had to end my parents started asking me to get ready cause we had to go out and they couldn’t wait until I finished watching the film cause they didn’t understand the concept of finishing a film in one stretch if you’re not watching it at the theatres. I just finished watching the last 30 mins after I got back home. I miss the theatres this film would’ve been a great experience at the cinema hall. I love watching movies in the theatres and I haven’t watched one in so long. The last film that I watched at the theatre was probably in January.

Now, about this film, it’s story about murders that have been taking place targeting one police officer. The rest of the story is kind of expected if you’ve watched enough crime thriller movies. I was deprived of a good Telugu film and it has my favourites Nani and Sudheer Babu in it. Both of them slayed their roles and played it so well. They looked real handsome. Overall, it’s a great film to watch and completely engaging even though the plots are pretty guessable. You can watch it on Prime, it’s won’t be a disappointment. 

I also realised how much I love going to the theatres to watch movies that excite me. During my 11th and 12th, me and my friend would always skip college on Fridays to go find a first day ticket, we would spend hours going to different corners of the city just to go and watch a movie on the first day. I don’t think I ever went to college on fridays in those two years. Oops.